Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Dazed and Confused

The dreadful month has come. The month that everyone in the program has warned us about. It’s October. On the upside, it’s the last week in October. The downside is it’s almost November. Am I lost in a corn maize with no exit and an overgrown entrance? My conclusion is yes.
I’m probably in the most discouraged state right now. I’m discouraged for the reasons listed above, but also because of my recent return from fall break. I spent five days in my wonderful home state of Iowa. In my mind, home is where the heart is, and Iowa is the permanent residence of my heart. Always has been, probably always will be. It’s hard for me to think about where I was a week ago (even harder for me to think about a year ago). My world in Iowa seems so far detached from my world in Mississippi, and the only thing holding them together is the license plate on my car. No need to dwell on this any longer, but I’ll end with a countdown. 22 days until Thanksgiving break.
I’m still a zombie teacher (which is fitting for Halloween week). I wake up, take a shower, get dressed, make my lunch, get in the car, drive to school, set up my room, teach the kids, drive home, prepare for the next day, go to bed, wake up, and repeat. The worst part is repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Anyway, despite the melancholy feel of this blog, I’d still say I’m happy. I believe one of my gifts is staying happy. Regardless of what happens at school, I still categorize myself as happy. I’m a naturally happy person. When I come home, I try as hard as possible to detach myself from that zombie teacher stuck on repeat. It’s hard, but I try. As long as I’m still smiling we’re good to go.
I believe that the latter half of the semester will go by more quickly than the first half. There’s more to look forward to – more breaks, a definite end, and the beginning of the end (second semester). I might have a different outlook on my job when the countdown is to the last day of school instead of the last day before Christmas break. As of right now, I feel like I can relate to my English students. We’re currently on the writing process which will probably end up being the hardest objective for them. They seem confused and frustrated by the entire process. I seem confused and frustrated on how to teach them. Regardless, we’re on the same boat, maybe different decks, but we’re definitely on the same boat.

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